Shit I do to get make outs

We were doing the Chodefest thing last night. Me, Troublesome and that Jayku mother fucker. I had just moved a cute girl to the smoking area of 7 Grand to make out.

I left her set for a bit and saw Jayku talking to this blond chick. She was totally into him, so I thought the pull was in the bag, but a few minutes later he came walking back up to us with a sad puss. A half hour later she was hanging onto some other dude in a dark corner. Jayku had not gone for the make out, and so most likely she lost interest.

We bounced to the Standard, and I sat down with him to go over the stuff I do to get make outs. And no, I don’t mean grabbing girls by the face and forcing the kiss, or dealing with sloppy drunk club chicks. I mean, when you’re talking to a sober or slightly buzzed girl, and you get her into the state of wanting to reciprocate the kiss. Be that same night or on a date.

When I started, I had a huge problem with this. Not just from an inner game aspect, but because I also always got her cheek. Dames never wanted to make out. Here are some barriers I’ve dealt with and 10 tips that I’ve used to get around them while in the venue.

1. Inner game. Trigger anxiety is something they don’t talk a lot about, but for me it was as real as approach anxiety. Even if all the signs were Go, I couldn’t nut up and pull the trigger. I knew everything got much less awkward on a date once this waypoint had been reached, and yet I kept stopping myself. On top of this, I was always a germophobe.
Just like the approach, I needed some kind of stack to help. First, I had a verbal reason to pull her in, like “come here, you’re adorable.” Or sniffing her neck while saying her hair smelled good. Any lame excuse to get my face close to her neck or face. Next, I didn’t go right for the kiss, but would kiss her forehead, cheek or neck. Then if she was still standing there, I’d pull the trigger. Rinse and repeat until that fear goes away, and you can just pull her in for the kiss without the other shenanigans.

2. Downshifting your energy. It’s helpful if she’s attracted to you before going for the kiss, but attraction was never a problem of mine. If my personality wasn’t winning a girl over, then my routines would always do it. But that wasn’t serving me well when I tried to get a kiss.
Instead, it’s important once you have attraction to lower your pitch, speed and volume. We call this bedroom voice. It should be rather seductive, often talking into each other’s ears, even if the venue isn’t that loud. You likewise would remain very still and centered with your body language. You can do some high energy shit with your hands to hook a set, but before the kiss, you need to look more like a tree.

3. Sensual touching. Ok, so there are many ways to touch a person. If she’s sickly, you can provide a comforting touch. If you’re trying to spike her buying temp, you can high five. If you’re trying to fuck her, your touch would be sexual (fingering, heavy kissing, etc).
But right before the first kiss, your touch should be sensual. That includes stroking her forearm, holding her hand, gliding your fingers through her hair, gently massaging her neck while you talk into her ear. I often use a palmistry routine, which is pretty lame, but it introduces some sensual touch while cold reading, spiking BT and getting sexual. Besides that, when I was talking to the chick last night, I had my hand on her knee and thigh (she was sitting on a barstool and I was standing next to her). Sensual touching warms girls up, and you should start doing it as soon as you’ve truly hooked (she’s facing you, making flirty eye contact, smiling, moving in to talk to you).

4. Make intent clear. Verbally throw out comments that let her know you like her. Even if they’re playful, like my elbow bit. Last night I said stuff like, “You can’t fly back home tomorrow…we haven’t fallen in love yet!” (credit Rob Judge) and “Oh good, you’re single? Let’s get outta here!” These things caused her to laugh because they were absurdly direct, and it’s ok to laugh when needed to break the tension, but don’t laugh nervously or saying “just kidding” as a way to relieve your own anxiety. Let the tension sit, see how she reacts, then break it with her so she isn’t uncomfortable.
If you find yourself doing a lot of chodespeak (interview questions, lame stuff about politics or sports), then take a step back. You can say “wtf? How’d we get onto religion?? This is a bar!” Last night she started giving me some long spiel about what she does, and I cut her off with a “whatever” and stacked into some other more exciting topic (it sounds rude, but it works). Likewise, if you find you haven’t made your intent clear, it’s ok to randomly stop the convo and drop it in. Like if she’s going on about her work, tell her how sexy it is (this is especially effective if it’s a non-sexy job like math teacher). Role play and cold read about the naughty aspects of her job.
There’s no real need to go overtly sexual. Meaning, you CAN ask her about giving head and stuff, but that won’t necessarily make her more willing to kiss you, and can backfire. So just get your intent on the table, playfully and/or seductively, and move on.

5. Kiss another place. I usually tell girls I like their elbows, and often I’ll kiss em there. Girls pretty much have never had a dude in a bar kiss their elbow, so this catches them off guard and spikes BT. If not that, you can kiss her neck, hand, cheek, forehead or shoulder. Or if she shows you her tattoo, you can give it a kiss. If she’s ok with that, it is a stepping stone to the real deal.

6. Isolation. I always mini-isolate, but anytime I want to go for a makeout, I want the girl and I to be in true isolation away from her friends. Preferably in some dark corner. This isn’t always necessary of course (lots of girls like making out in front of their friends, just like us dudes), but if you sense she’s willing to kiss but worried what her friends might say, then go for isolation.
I have a secret clubhouse at 7 Grand. It’s the far end of the smoking area where nobody hangs out. I oversell it, grab her hand, and lead her there into isolation. But you can improvise in any venue. Say it’s too dark to read her palm, or too loud to talk, or you want to sit because your feet hurt, or you want to go to the bar. Whatever, just have some excuse, spike her BT, and then lead her there with authority.

7. Routines. I think routines are uberlame. Anytime you logically engage a girl’s mind to tell her you’re about escalate, it’s a lose. You want to disengage her logical mind and spike her emotions, then escalate. So Mystery’s gambit isn’t something I would use, for that reason and because it feels beta to ask chicks if they want me to kiss them. Style’s phase shift thingy is overly complicated, but does incorporate some of the above like kissing other areas and sensual touch. If you need a routine to get you past your trigger anxiety, try it out, but in the long run I don’t find it’s anything more than another crutch.

8. Watch for the window. There are times when a girl wants you to kiss her and times when she’s not feeling it. Pull the trigger when that window is open. Sometimes once it closes and you haven’t made your move, it’ll never open again.

9. Rough play. I have a wall in my little 7 Grand clubhouse that I tell girls is my “favorite wall.” I say “I love this wall!” Then I slam her against it and kiss her. Any kind of dominant behavior if done right will spike her emotions and make her more willing to kiss. It’s always fun to manhandle broads, and once attracted they usually like it (even as they’re voicing objection to it).

10. Good oral hygiene. Naturally, if girls are gonna wanna kiss you, it helps if you don’t smell like a sewer. I had bad breath for ages, but I investigated treatments and overcame it (as far as I can tell). Here’s my formula:
a) Brush before you go out, with a powered toothbrush. This includes your tongue and roof of mouth. Wash all the residue out thoroughly, maybe five times.
b) Use Listerine twice a day. Use enough to get it back to all the regions of your mouth, and even swallow a little to hit the back of you tongue.
c) Scrape your tongue in the mornings.
d) Don’t eat smelly food before going out.
e) Floss at night before bed.
f) Keep minty gum on you and chew a lot of it in the venue.
g) I had acid reflux. So does my dog. We’re both on Prilosec, and now our breaths are much better. If this is something that might be a problem, go see your doctor or try over-the-counter Prilosec for a week or two.

And that should do it. Happy snargings, fuckers.