Stuff I like about dames

I see a lot of talk about what attributes dudes are looking for in girls, and it usually boils down to two: looks and personality. This is an incredibly myopic view, and if you stopped to think about it, you’d probably come up with many more desirable traits. Here now is a short list of mine…

1. Physical attractiveness

I’ve never had “a type,” but I found that as I went out more, my tastes broadened. I discovered I prefer Latinas, for example. Every guy has his own 10, and there is no right or wrong. Tall, short. Big tits, flat. Skinny, hefty. Red head, blonde.
I would recommend if you’re new to pickup, you keep an open mind. If you’re trying to learn how to be social, then imposing standards will ultimately be counter-productive; this is usually another excuse not to approach or move things forward. As your game improves, you can afford the luxury to be more selective, but at that point the other attributes listed below will probably begin to eclipse a girl’s beauty.

2. Emotional availability

Whether a girl is in a relationship or is guarded from a series of abusive boyfriends, many times a chick is simply not willing to open up. Often, girls will look for the slightest incongruence or weakness in a man, and at that point shut down. I find the two big red flags that cause this reaction are, a) being lied to, and b) being thought of as slutty.
I always weed out chicks who aren’t emotionally available, because I don’t have the desire to work that hard. If a girl is on the fence, then by me being honest (sometimes shockingly so) and transparent I can move them towards investing in our interaction.

3. Emotional stability and maturity

Some girls love drama. Some are using you to get back at a man or men in general. Plenty of chicks have major emotional issues. I’ve dated ladies with drug and alcohol abuse, anger management problems, you name it. I no longer allow those kinds of girls anywhere near me.
If you wanna be a girl’s daddy, and you enjoy babysitting on your dates, by all means go get em. I personally wouldn’t bother with any girl who brings me down because of her own insecurities or immaturity. Life’s too short.
Instead, I feel you should look for women who are nurturing, open with their feelings and willing to grow. Emotionally healthy women will elevate your game and your life. Learn from them.

4. Logistics

Some broads aren’t able to get away from their kids, or they live too far away, or they live with their parents, or they’re too busy with work to spend much time with you. This is one reason to have multiple girls, because you can’t always depend on one to be there for you anytime you want.
Try to find women who are logistically desirable, and do what you can to work with those who aren’t. This may mean getting a hotel room or banging in your car, or her driving to your place or getting a sitter for her kids. If she’s worth it, put the effort in to make it happen.

5. Financial stability

Plenty of women are looking for a dude to take care of them financially. They have no career plans, or are in debt, or have an expensive coke habit. You aren’t an ATM. Guys are typically expected to invest something financially in the relationship, but it is possible to find women who don’t need or want your money, and will in fact pay their way.

6. Energy

Girls can give off different energies. Some are bright and sunny. Others are dark and moody. I won’t tell you what kind of energy you should bring into your life, but personally I believe it’s a good idea to surround yourself with women who are positive. Energy is contagious. If you constantly spend your time around negative energy, you may find yourself succumbing to it.

7. Physical and mental health

If health is important to you, then make it a priority in your women. If you hate smokers, don’t date one. If you are fit, then date girls who are too. I tend to avoid girls who abuse or neglect their bodies, since this is telling me they lack respect for themselves.
Similar to the above on emotional stability, you can meet a girl who is truly mentally unwell. Before long you may find yourself dealing with her ups and downs, her trips to the ER for suicide attempts, her violent outbursts. Many mental disorders are inheritable, so realize if you have kids with a woman who is bipolar, you may be dooming your children. Plus, is this girl fit to be a mother?

8. Personality

Many guys are willing to overlook a chick’s personality if she’s hot. And a lot of hot girls have relied on their looks primarily, such that their personality is nothing memorable.
As with looks, I’d say be open to various kinds of personalities. Diversity is a good thing, and dealing with the many styles will help your future interactions.
Attributes I look for are humor, charm, wit, confidence, assertiveness and femininity. You should have a pretty clear idea eventually about what sorts of personalities you’re attracted to.

9. Sexuality

Some girls hate the cock. Some love it but act like they don’t. Some can’t live without it. I’ve been with girls who gave mind-blowing BJs, and others who didn’t even know how to kiss well. Certain chicks lay on their back like ragdolls, others are like trying to stay on a mechanical bull. You got your squirters, your ass fetishists, your BDSMers.
I won’t twist any girl’s arm for sex. I like a girl who is comfortable with her body, secure with her sexuality, adventurous, submissive and able to show me new things.
Demand sexual chemistry from your partners. Don’t settle for chicks who are frigid or who use sex as a bargaining tool.

10. Baggage

Everyone has something they aren’t proud of. The question is, how much slack will you give a girl? Everybody defines baggage differently. She’s had over 200 partners. She has 3 kids. She’s in the middle of a divorce. Some things may be acceptable to you, others may not. Remember, you probably have baggage as well that others may find unacceptable.

11. Similar interests and views

People think that this is of key importance. In my opinion, it’s nice when it happens, but isn’t necessary. My views and interests have changed a lot over my life, and so it may be for the women you meet. She may be a huge sports fan this year, but may be over it next year.
Screen women according to the things you find important in this regard, but don’t necessarily disqualify women if they don’t totally hold your opinions. I often seek women with interests unlike mine, so that I can learn new things.